cornhole frenzy

be sure to read the website name

happy new year?

tonight was an ordeal. first off, i was the best dressed person at the new years party. someone said i looked like i was about to step onto the titanic, and that sounds about right. anyway, as i was leaving the party with lia, two drunk kids are outside, shoving each other. a girl is crying. i walk up, telling them to cool that shit. one of them rips his shirt off, and i grab his shoulder and pull him back from the other guy. he turns to me. i hold him still and tell him to calm the hell down. he shoves me, then swings at me; i put my hand up, and guess what? his fingernail slices my thumb when it hits me. yeah. like a girl fight. i push him back, and just then a bunch of other drunk college freshmen home for the holidays run up and take over. (by now the other guy has also ripped off his shirt. why is taking off your shirt a sign of willingness to fight?) i let them handle it. i walk away, get my girl, and sail off into the moonlight.

the things i learned during the last moments of 2008:

1. i look good in suits;
2. the generation of kids a few years younger than us are idiots and should never be allowed to reproduce;
3. never mess with kids with long fingernails.

the best part of the night was when i put ODB on the stereo, stopping the onslaught of journey and lynard skynard. i get down.

a side note: alcohol makes eighteen-year-olds act like whiny babies. you're all cool, smoking your cigarettes and sneering at parents. save it for the adults, kids.

jason dill

back before he was wearing high socks and mullets. this is one reason the alien video will be the best of the year.


feast your eyeballs.

fully flailed teaser from Colin Read on Vimeo.

how about everyone chips in some cash so i can buy a vimeo plus account, so we can watch the movies in HD on here. or, just watch them all on vimeo. whateverrrrr