and by the way....

i haven't told many of you about my last few nights in gainesville.

so we go to outback to skate one of the benches--10 ft long recycled plastic ledges. it's right under a window, and outback is open, so vince and i crouch below the window and scuttle out of sight with the ledge. but once we have it out in the lot, we have the wonderful idea--hey, let's just fucking take it, dude!

we couldn't be any more conspicuous if we tried. what i mean is, we're obviosly stealing this thing. while jamming it into shawn's jeep, we break the windshield, and all the while this dude steve is going, i can't go to jail, all these people are gonna take pictures with their phones, we're gonna get caught! and then, while we're pulling out, vince has left his backpsck behind the tire (?????) so we feel a bump and he gets out and everything in it has been pulverized. his helmet is roadkill; his cell phone is shattered. casualty no. 2.

driving back, we're freaking out about cops, because number one, we're commiting some sort of high crime, and number two, everyone in the car has already had about 10 run-ins with them in the past few days anyway. but we get back to shawn's okay. phew...

and there are 2 cop cars in his parking lot. and they're standing on shawn's doorstep waiting for us.

let me back this up... apparently, some jerks did something to katie's car (remember the rules of infidelity? here's to you, sister), and her boytoy called the cops on little old US! how presumptuous.

so the cops have shawn, and they're yelling the usual: wipe that smirk off your face! (though we all know, that's just how shawn looks.) and then one of them goes, it's this kind of petty shit that's gonna get you in jail! meanwhile we have proof of larceny or something in the jeep.

one of the cops starts going up to the windows of the jeep, so i jog over and go, hey officer, and start bullshitting. he forgets about whatever he was looking at.

and basically, we get away.

the next night, shawn and fogt and will and i are chilling in shawn's place, when suddenly the window explodes. will and shawn cower and hide in the bathroom. but luckily, fogt and i are mandible claw, we're real fuckin men, and we run out to catch the bastards: a couple black kids on bikes. we call the cops. they flee. and the cops come...

two hours later. gainesville's finest.

what's my name?

i found a "what's your pimp name" thing online. a few i got were:

fadeproof c. rockefeller

reverend colin flash

magic tickle, colin shizzle

tricktickler colin sneed

professer truth c. tickle

and mr. white chocolate c. trump.

which is your favorite? rock the vote.