top 10

top ten reasons why the US will beat china in the 2008 olympic games:

1. michael phelps. in 5 tries, 5 gold medals and 5 world records.
2. women's gymnastics. i know, they didn't win, but they actually have boobs; while the china team is comprised of freakish mutant 10 yr olds.
3. small wiener complex. that's the only reason china is so hell-bent on winning--to make up for their inadequate size. but every time they're in the locker room, they get knocked back down to their place.
4. michael phelps. have you seen his feet? they're like flippers.
5. better coordination. sure, they may be ninjas, but we have a wider range of vision, in the up-and-down regions. plus we have better vantage points.
6. michael phelps.
7. michael phelps.
8. we have morgan freeman as our official narrator. and he once played god.
9. michael phelps.
10. even if we lose, they still have small wieners.