and by the way....

i haven't told many of you about my last few nights in gainesville.

so we go to outback to skate one of the benches--10 ft long recycled plastic ledges. it's right under a window, and outback is open, so vince and i crouch below the window and scuttle out of sight with the ledge. but once we have it out in the lot, we have the wonderful idea--hey, let's just fucking take it, dude!

we couldn't be any more conspicuous if we tried. what i mean is, we're obviosly stealing this thing. while jamming it into shawn's jeep, we break the windshield, and all the while this dude steve is going, i can't go to jail, all these people are gonna take pictures with their phones, we're gonna get caught! and then, while we're pulling out, vince has left his backpsck behind the tire (?????) so we feel a bump and he gets out and everything in it has been pulverized. his helmet is roadkill; his cell phone is shattered. casualty no. 2.

driving back, we're freaking out about cops, because number one, we're commiting some sort of high crime, and number two, everyone in the car has already had about 10 run-ins with them in the past few days anyway. but we get back to shawn's okay. phew...

and there are 2 cop cars in his parking lot. and they're standing on shawn's doorstep waiting for us.

let me back this up... apparently, some jerks did something to katie's car (remember the rules of infidelity? here's to you, sister), and her boytoy called the cops on little old US! how presumptuous.

so the cops have shawn, and they're yelling the usual: wipe that smirk off your face! (though we all know, that's just how shawn looks.) and then one of them goes, it's this kind of petty shit that's gonna get you in jail! meanwhile we have proof of larceny or something in the jeep.

one of the cops starts going up to the windows of the jeep, so i jog over and go, hey officer, and start bullshitting. he forgets about whatever he was looking at.

and basically, we get away.

the next night, shawn and fogt and will and i are chilling in shawn's place, when suddenly the window explodes. will and shawn cower and hide in the bathroom. but luckily, fogt and i are mandible claw, we're real fuckin men, and we run out to catch the bastards: a couple black kids on bikes. we call the cops. they flee. and the cops come...

two hours later. gainesville's finest.

what's my name?

i found a "what's your pimp name" thing online. a few i got were:

fadeproof c. rockefeller

reverend colin flash

magic tickle, colin shizzle

tricktickler colin sneed

professer truth c. tickle

and mr. white chocolate c. trump.

which is your favorite? rock the vote.

it's always sunny

getting excited for the new season even though it's in september.

"what the fuck is fred savage doing here?"


sorry for the downtime. no reason except laziness.

expect the full euro video to be dropped soon. until then, here's some homey shit.

rules, part 2

take hints from griswald.

the rules of infidelity

rule #1: dont cheat when you share the building with your boyfriend's friends.

rule #2: dont use the same lies you told your boyfriend you used. for example: if you tell your boyfriend that, at work, you tell people that your hickeys are bruises from playing paintball, dont then tell your boyfriend that the marks on your neck are from paintball. thats just dumb.

rule #3: dont try to be nice afterward. there is no afterward. bye-bye with you.

video hype

feast your eyes, minions.

collabo, yo

calling all fogts!

its time to make a mandible claw collaboration deck. lets figure out the details fogty. get in touch.

and get me out of winter haven!


a taste of things to come


a study of physics, recreating an experiment i undertook in barcelona, spain.

note the angle, velocity, and impact.

back in the ussr

sorry for the downtime but im in winter haven. meaning im in the middle of nowhere with no internet, not to mention no skating, no one outside my family, no life.

but this demanded a post:

Fittest Guys in America
Special, exclusive interviews with nine of the 2008 MF 25

Ryan Sheckler - Pro Skateboarder

MF: What's your perspective on fitness for skateboarding?
I skate a lot with my shirt off, so working out has always been important to me. I almost have as much fun working out as I do skating. And seeing your body change, and seeing yourself get bigger and more toned and cut, makes a big difference in how you feel about yourself. As of right now I'm working out three times a week and it's fun.

How did you first get into working out?
Where I'm from, San Clemente, California, there are a lot of high school football players and big kids—fit kids—that are into training. I saw kids getting big and I wanted to get big. I started lifting weights and I got strong. It's a great feeling when people look at you and say, 'Wow, you've been going to the gym.' My dad is huge, and I look up to him when it comes to training—I don't want to be as big as him, but I want to get jacked.

Does partying ever get you off track for staying fit and skating?
No, I have my priorities straight, and I always have. I am a skateboarder and to stay fit for skating I have to stay away from a lot of things. I go to parties and that's fun for me, but between skating and lifting and everything, I know what I have to do the next day, so I'm very conscious about my schedule and keeping it.

What are the biggest physical challenges for you in your sport?
For me, the reason I keep working out and want to get bigger and focus on staying fit is because when you do fall its easier to tighten up and not get hurt. I also wrestle and that helps me a lot with taking a fall. A lot of what I do at the end of they day are things that will help me to not get hurt.

What are some of the things you can do to prepare for competition season?
It's definitely training. It's making sure my cardio's right, making sure I'm satisfied with how I look and being able to roll out of a fall — that takes a lot of stress off my plate.

see the entire interview here: