wanta fanta

hay gang. back in barca. our train from rome had a heart attack and elft us an hour away frmo nice, so of course we missed all our other conectint trains.... we spent 14 hours n a buffet. that about sums it up.

the forecast predicted a week straight of rain, but shawn used his magic beaver chest to wish it all away. 4 days of blue skies, sonny.

now were off to fondo. wish us luck.

see you in 2 days.

lets go, gang,

its all.......................... gonna break!

you ever get a song stuck in your head? a really, really, really bad song youve only heard once, but its in there like a splinter?

well this is that song.

beautiful girls, by sean kingston. we heard it once while we were in mataro, and its been replaying in our heads ever since. an any point during the day, one of us will sing, beauuutifull girrllls, and the other will start crying because now its in his head again.

jake, are you really buying the vx? hope you can read chinese, buddy.

you sold me queer giraffes

tonight we watched gladiator, in rome. how badass is that?

weve been getting requests for footy, and while id like to give you the privilege of witnessing our adventures, i dont have the cords, programs, well-functioning computers, etc. youll all have to wait until we get home, chumps.

this is a member of the mandible claw family, agent cockwell, nosediving at the toxic wasteland. note the back foot placement and the manly hair seeping through his wife-beater.

meanwhile, in rome, skateboarding is on hiatus. were going back to BCN on the 24th, and well pick up skating again there. rome has shitty, rough-ass cobbles, yo.

today we trespassed into the vatican and took illegal pictures of dead popes. the vatican police yelled at us for wearing beanies. they probably thought i was jewish, and defacing their religion. they were only half right.

and did i mention i once again have waffle shoes? soaked to that grippy lakai sole (this is not an advertisement). we waited in the downpour for ten minutes in the vatican line, and then we got to anbother massive line. but somehow we stumbled into a private tour guide group and were ushered past hours of lines.... smooth.

yesterday at the colosseum men in roman guard uniforms wanted my money. when i wouldnt let them have it they cursed at me. in english. im starting to think they werent actually ancient roman guards....

a discovery--horses hate chocolate. i tried to feed a candy bar to two different horses today, and both of them slurped at it then spit it back in my hand and slurped about like they had a bad taste in their mouths. i thought it would be a step up from sugar cubes, which my friend greg maintains are the sole staple of a horse's diet.

i dove into the ocean today. it was cold. real cold. my weiner turned into an innie.

heres to you, loyal reader--a true gladiator:


fully soggy

hot pics

im ron burgundy?

Veronica: "Oh, well, when in Rome."
Ron: "Yes? Please go on."
Veronica: "Uh, do as the Romans do? It's an old expression."
Ron: "Oh! I've never heard of it."
Veronica: "Oh."
Ron: "It's wonderful, though."

in rome, and guess what the weather is like. you got it! pouring. we ate pizza in an italian pizzaria--pretty epic. for some reason the girls working there were laughing at us, i mean really laughing their asses off. i dont know why.

yesterday we found the giant white quarterpie that busenitz back disastered in the adidas paris video. busenitz is a god among mere mortals. that thing goes straight to steep bank and is maybe 13 feet high.

oh, and did i mention that the spot is pretty much unskateable? its a perfect spot, yeah. but the french government decided to build a scooter park 5 feet away from it, going its entire length, and then made the quarterpipe itself illegal to skate. we got kicked out of skating a skatepark twice. imagine me fighting with a french security guard, neither of us understanding the either one, but neither of us giving up, until the guy just walked away out of frustration. one more thing: there were 2 hundred little kids freaking out all over the place. not an exaggeration. shawn and i killed like 20 babies skating there.

but we got a couple little runs, so its all cool.

we then skated the gnarliest spot ever. its a giant globe monument thing. its set about 5 feet deep into the ground and has half of it cut away so you can skate it. you have to roll into a 5 foot quarterpipe, then charge into the other wall, which is about 15 feet high. we got some epic footage.

a strange thing about skating in france: people throw water at you. it happened twice. first skating a bank spot, somebody threw a water bottle off of the skyscraper next to us, and it exploded right next to us against the ground. it hit and the bottle--the pplastic bottle--ripped aprt and water shot out 20 feet. then, skating a very colorful manual pad, someone threw a bag full of water out the window, and it blasted everywhere. thats how they try to get you out of the spot--soak it.

the train ride to rome was a child molesters paradise. little girls everywhere. we shared our cabin with a couple preteens who chattered and giggled and giggled and giggled. shawn and i entertained ourselves by saying dirty things to them, because they couldnt understand english. finally they were herded away, and we slept hard. shawn slept so hard that when he woke up he found holes all in his pillow.

more to come. follow the bouncing ball.


the rain falls hard on a humdrum town

the weather was perfect and we skated all day today no problems!!!!!

just kidding. another rainy day. but it let off enough for us to film some lines, then started raining again.

last night we toured the louvre. mona lisa isnt that pretty of a woman. and there were many amputated statues.

later, at a cafe, as we were eating, a guy smashed a bottle on a dudes head then slammed him against the window we were eating against. the cooks ran out to stop the fight; shawn and i ate our french fries.

french fries. do they call them that here? if i spoke the language id know. but as it is i just point at the menu and then nod at whatever they say to me afterwards. theyre probably telling me to go fuck myself and im just smiling and saying merci, merci.

today, skating an amazing bank spot (soy panday doies a line there in static three doing a roll-into 5050 drop into the bank and then a back tail), people kept getting in the way, and i plowed straight through a womans purse. shawn almost took out an old lady. to dinner, i mean. but she was married. maybe next time, shawn....

till that next time. rome in 2 days.


anthems for a seveteen year old girl

last night we saw broken social scene along with every american in paris. the best show ive ever seen without a doubt.

its raning still. weve found a laundromat and are expecting to get lost finding it again.

tell me. howre things going back home? tell me youre fine.

yesterday afternoon i saw a man holding a baby carriage over his shulder as he walked down the biggest set of stairs in the world. the baby was peeking over. i feared for him.



and one more thing

also let Me add ive been out for a few days due to a pulled leg muscle, its the worst thing ever. poop.

gay paree

in paris. the keyboard is all wrong with letters in the wrong places. its taking me forever to type this.

we shared a train cabin with the oldest man in the world. apparently hes a famous historian. he spoke to us in a combination of french and spanish and complimented shawn on his pronunciation. he was cool in a creepy wheezing grandfather sort of way.


expect some of this spot to come.

thats all of this typing i can stand for now. good luck and good bye

c and s

humpty dumpty

today we fried our shoes with a space heater to dry them out. shawn´s shoes melted a little. then we hit the streets of mataro, and i mean ´hit´literally. i´ve got a nice bump on my head.

we found a fair. they served humburgers in hot dog buns. ham dogs. mmmmm.

and it stopped raining! wish us more dry weather.


´my feet feel like waffles´

this is what shawn said today while sloshing through the picasso museum in his drenched shoes. i fully agree, and understand, this statement. maple-syrup-covered, soggy, buttery waffles.

today i invented a new sport: umbrella juggling. while shawn was smart and brought an umbrella, i was my usual self ajnd came totally unprepared. however, i discovered something unusual about barcelona--people just go around throwing away umbrellas.

my first find was in a trash can. black, with half the spoke broken in half. i pulled it out and used the half-circle of cloth to cover myself. then i found another one in the trash, a striped one whose handle was snapped in half. i carried it until the rain blew it apart again. finally, i found my baby--a tan, wooden beast from the nineteen hundreds. the harder the better.

picasso was a madman. he painted better than i do. bummer.

shawn, right now, is lurking over my shoulder, his little beaver patch in full force. now he´s giggling. hee hee hee. he´s combing down his beaver patch with his fingers and saying, ït´s coming along, dude. it´s coming along.¨

yes it is, shawn. yes it is.


the harder the better

that´s the official name of this trip. shawn´s said it multiple times so far, each time talking about different things-- the first time abouty wheels, then apples. he´s leading up to saying it about penises, i think.

still raining in barca obama. going to see picasso in a few minutes; then onto the arc de triopf, then who knows. we´ve stayed the past few nights in mataro in an amazing little hostel. the town´s cool, but we couldn´t find the internet--its has abandoned us--so we took the train into barcelona to bring you this message. feel honored.

no skating the past 2 days due to constant rain. i made a new beanie to replace my stolen red one, and my mom´s sending my spare charge cord to our hostel. our eurail tickets will arrive soon, and we´ll head to paris, hopefully in time to see broken social scene. it´s coming back together.

major news: today there was a D3 sighting! a punk kid on the train, bright blue osirises. or osires? we´ll never know.

until next time,
colin awesome and shawn gay

escape from BCN

lesson number 7: set up the trip EARLY.

last night we found we had nowhere to stay and no train pass. and the only way to get a pass is by mail, and we didn´t have an address.

after frantic scurrying, we booked a hostel in nice old mataro, right on the beach, a 40 minute train ride from barca. my mom´s sending my extra charger cord, hopefully, and hopefully we´ll get it, and hopefully our eurail tickets will come.

and did i mention it´s raining? here´s an example of our priorities: we have one small umbrella, and we used it to shield our boards from the rain while we suffered the downpour. or, at least, i did--shawn covered his head.

see you soon, faithful web-lurkers.

love, colin (and shawn)

fully swindled

while filming a line, a gyu on a bike asked us for directions. when he left, our camera bag was gone. luckily mr bike thief and his friend thief only got a few batteries and the charge cord... but now we cant charge our cam cam. ug.

today we found the gnarliest spots. how about the multilevel quarter pipe that dylan rieder had a front blunt on a transworld cover? shawn got front rock and fs disaster, and i got a bs disaster and a back blunt. in miloe radius we found the bank spot under the shiny roof you see in videos. i ran into our old friend mr. duffy, and we skated with him and the whole pro lost team. gailea momolu--that´s right, steve--paul machnau, danny fuenzalida, etc. we attacked some insane ledge spots and i yanked down a pole jam to fakie on a crusty bank. al these crazy spots that you can tell no ones ever skated before. well, we´re from crustville, florida, and put our mark on the map.

if someone has a scd6040 samsung charger cord, let me know!!!! or else no more footy, peeps!

wish us luck, and no more stolen crap.

-agents bowlus and read

heeeeeere's JOHNNY!

well, folks, we´re here. yes. we´re here.

so, MACBA... i could tell you about how we skated with javier sarmiento, enrique lorenzo, jesus, gunes ozdogan, and a couple other pros, but instead i´ll tell you about the things you don´t see in vids. like how our boards rolled through a piss puddle every time we went for a trick. and how shawn stepped into a hole full of shit and left poop footprints on the marble. and how the marble--nevermind, that place is amazing. perfect ledges smoothe ground, an awesome vibe, and no security. shawn now has poop shoes, though.

at first we got lost and wandered around barca for hours, finding spots we´ve seen in videos. it´s as awesome as you all think, suckers. oh yeah--before we even got here, we had pat duffy and kyle berard sitting behind us on the plane. pat´s a nice guy. he told me where to find an ATM.

now we´re off to find forum, the gigantic tiled quarterpipes and the roofed in banked manny pads. you know that one, it has the shiny ceiling. dylan rieder had a transworld cover doing a front blunt on the big bank thing.

wish us luck. my red beanie got swiped. NOOOOOOOO!

-colin (and shawn)

one last treat

this is the opposite of the spots we'll be skating in barca. a video tour of daytona's finest park. pay attention to your tour guide shawn. keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times.

as some of you know, in a few hours i'll be gone. barcelona, spain. MACBA, son!

here's a goodbye message from austin, my representative.

shawn is manning the photo department overseas, while i'm heading up the videography. expect documentation in the weeks to follow. keep checking the blog. we'll be back in a month, suckers.

wish us luck. cross your fingers. await our return with open arms.

colinelius readus

gentlemen only, ladies forbidden

the best park i've ever seen is being made in ft pierce. we checked it out. amazing. but the team pain guys wouldnt let us skate it, though they told us to break in tomorrow morning. that's a skateboarder right there. so instead we went to the old golf course, where i landed some maneuvers. will almost cut himself in half doing a between-the-bars backside ollie, but i didn't film it.... sorry.

fuck yo couch nigga!

the darkness. we found this shitty manny pad behind a flatground spot at 2am one morning. we lit it up with headlights. i fell once, and looked up to see a hepatitis-ridden needle a few inches away from me. sick.