oh yeah

hey turds, leave comments so i know i'm not writing these things to myself. roll call under this post!

mandible claw

what happens when neckface meets mandible claw? genius, that's what. i got pysched at 2 am and took part in some good clean vandalism. watch beauty in creation.

putting the 'fun' back in dysfunctional

do you like magic?
yes. you do. see, i knew what you were thinking.
now scoot to the edge of your seat and prepare to be amazed.

metal and brawn

today's work. peep the photographer thrash.

hyper activity

ricky oyola in eastern exposure three. one of the greatest parts of all time. raw speed, ollies, wallrides, endless lines. all skate parts should be like this.

stevesy again

on his big day, number 22, steve hurt his ankle. let's all make him a big get well soon card, or maybe a farewell card, because maybe, like a lame horse, he'll be shot to death. on a side note, i once dumped a girl on my birthday because i thought she was going to dump me. preemptive strike. i was sixteen, i think. sixteen....


which is how old steve is going to be in one year. which, i think we can agree on, means that steve has one year to live.

steve, i think this means you're going to die. i'm sorry.

but let's get to that card. i have the basic layout i want.

one more

my boss ian really likes hurting people's faces. here's another quote:

"if a robber breaks into your house and threatens you with a gun, you can kick him in the face."

shoot him in the face!

at work right now. just wanted to share a few sentences of what i'm working on. these are examples from the review of business law.

ex. 1:
"dick is mad that his friend harry is having an affair with his wife, so dick gets his shotgun and shoots harry in the face."

ex. 2:
"dick, a resident of NYC, decides to go quail hunting with grenades. equipped with his hunting gear, dick walks out into the apartment building and thinks he sees a quail. he chases the quail into times square and then throw the grenade into a large group of people, intending to kill the quail. unfortunately, he ends up killing harry instead."

ex. 3:
"dick, a resident of washington, dc, decides to go quail hunting with his friend harry on a vacant south texas ranch. intending to kill a quail, dick accidentally shoots harry in the face."

harry gets pretty screwed over. now, pop quiz: in which of these example is dick liable for intentional tort?

tiny dancing

what do you get when you put together a gay guy and a blind kid?

wrong. you get elton john playing the who's 'pinball wizard.' i saw him in the o dome. he played ever song of importance ever made by any artist. his bassist was really creepy, he kept lurking up behind all the other musicians and playing with his head right next to their neck. creepy.

in other news, this is documentation of today's whereabouts. observe steve's speed and shawn's gang gestures.

PS: were you thinking the answer was,
"hey kid, want a lollipop?"
you're sick, you know that? sick.

ain't nothin to fuck with

examine the mandible claw sign.

now compare this with the wu tang sign.

think the similarity is a coincidence? i think not.

last night i saw method man and red man. they speaked of poonanas, then told the ladies to flash their titties, all in the same place where last year the florida gators won the championship. this was a better use of the space.

gnarly dude

another from the UF park.


tonight at the UF park. i eat a garlic roll while in a nose wheelie. wait for vince's mind-bending ender on the flat rail. steve rolls one out and rides away.

dictated but not read,

fully scorped

this is what happens when you're dodging cops trying to get your trick in and the light is fading. sorry, shawn. the footy's pretty dark, you might have to redo the land.

in other news, today i have to do major projects for two classes, none of which i've done at all. i feel doomed.

e coli

yes this is a blog. somebody sue me.

tonight i walked into my cousin's house and water flooded out over my feet. my blind dog wagged and went back to drinking. a toilet was running. we dragged all the furniture away and then broomed all the poopwater out of the house and then waddled around with our pants rolled up, watching water squirt up out of the floorboards, while my grandmother arrived and made us rub disinfectant between our toes.

is e coli deadly? i figure i've eaten so many totino's pizzas that i've built up a tolerance.